Barry Shitpeas

Barry Shitpeas is an award-winning series of novels written by Cap'n Obvious.

Barry Shitpeas and the Vampires of Death Doom!
The first novel ever written by Cap'n Obvious, the story revolves around Barry Shitpeas, a disheveled man who has lost all his possessions because his bitch of an ex-wife took them. He meets a vampire called Doris, and two mysterious bald bastards try and capture them for reasons unknown. Doris dies in chapter two, a move that reviewers praised, saying:

Later in the book, he has to find out why the bald bastards are trying to kill him. He comes across the King of the Vampires, John Smith. Barry is thrown in prison for 5 years and just before he dies of being in prison, he is rescued by the ghost of Doris, who gives him a key to get out of the prison. The book never reveals how Doris managed to give Barry a key, as she is a ghost and the key would just go straight through him, but no-one really gives a fuck, it just works.