Thomas

Thomas is a cheeky little wank engine who lives at a big station on the Island of Sodor. When the big trains come in, he pulls the coaches away so the big engines can go and wank.

Thomas thinks that no one works as hard as he does, including Gordon. He is also very proud of his johnson, and thinks it is his most important part.

He was created on October 13, 1942.

'Acrylic Afternoons' Thomas
When frightened, Thomas lets out a high-pitched squeal while shrinking his eyes and stretching his mouth. This was seen in 'James' Shitty Wooden Bollocks'. Percy also does this, as seen in 'Percy the Hay Lord'. The reason for the naming of this phenomenon is because the high-pitched squeal sounds exactly like Jarvis Cocker in the Pulp song 'Acrylic Afternoons'.

Death
On Friday 13th November 2009, Thomas became depressed that he had to fuck coaches because he couldn't fuck the world. Edward during this time felt sorry for him so both he and Edward agreed that Thomas would take Edward's drugs and Edward would fuck Thomas's coaches in the arse. However their drivers and firemen disagreed. This made Thomas suicidal. Thomas then rammed into the Stationmaster's house killing himself, Mr. Stationmaster, Mrs. Stationmaster and more importantly, the Breakfast.

Death's Response
Death was rather irritated by the fact that he couldn't kill anyone else during the destruction of Mr. and Mrs Stationmaster's house, so he wrote a complaint to the Fat Controller, which was destroyed in the Fat Controller's night of passion with The Butler.