Thomas and the Unfeasibly Fast Bus

Synopsis
Bertie has an extremely one-sided race with Thomas.

Plot
In the windmill scene, the video is split down the middle and reflected while the first part of the Thomas The Tank Engine intro is played backwards. The bridge scene is normal but the station scene is replaced by the man from the Six Flags advert dancing to the theme.

Thomas meets a bus at a junction. Thomas introduces himself and says he runs the branchline. When Bertie says 'So' Thomas swears at him. Thomas claims he can go faster than Bertie; an argument ensues, until Bertie tricks Thomas into saying that he can't. Bertie bets he can fuck Thomas. Their drivers let the fucking go ahead. When the station master says 'are you ready?' and 'Go!', Bertie leaves at an unfeasibly fast pace, but Thomas can't go fast whilst Bertie is in front. Annie and Clarabel plead Thomas to go fast and warn him that Bertie is a long way ahead. Thomas remembered the level crossing as Bertie fumes at the gates. He says 'Goodbye' as he sails gaily through. After Thomas passes the windmill, he says 'Oh Bollocks' when he comes to a station. Bertie tells Thomas that he can't stop and buses have to work, to make matters worse the signal breaks. As Thomas crosses the bridge, he and his crew hear an impatient 'honk honk'. Bertie waits at the traffic lights for several millenia featuring day, night and skyscrapers getting built up and being lasered, starts off with a roar and chases on after Thomas again. He reaches his full speed and goes in front but he is too fast when Thomas tries hard. As Thomas and Bertie whoosh into the last station, Bertie runs over some workmen and everyone is there to celebrate and Thomas tells Bertie that the race was fun.

Characters

 * The Six Flags Guy
 * Ringo Starr
 * Thomas
 * Bertie
 * Thomas' driver
 * Bertie's driver
 * Mr. Stationmaster