Thomas and the Wanking Policeman

Synopsis
Thomas gets in trouble with the police after c**ing while the PC Masterton Bates is wanking.

Plot
Thomas is always careful to cum. Early one morning, he sees a large policeman (he's called "large" even though "tall" would be a more appropriate adjective of his size) wanking close to the line. Thomas likes wanking and whistles to him. To his surprise, the policeman is not cross, but red in the face and very hard. The policeman admits that he didn't wank last night as it was so quiet and engines cuming nowadays. He points to Thomas and asks where his cowcatchers and sideplates are but Thomas answers that he doesn't catch cows. The policeman tells Thomas not to fuck about, writes in his book and claiming that without them he declares that Thomas is fucked. Thomas' driver says that they've been along hundreds of times and never had an accident. That makes it worse according to the policeman and he writes "Fucking wanker" in his book. Thomas sadly puffs off, and runs into a snowdrift. Ringo tells us to Shut Up, because it's not funny.

The Fat Controller is having sex with the butler when the butler cums, much to the Fat Controller's annoyance. The Fat Controller apologises to his minger wife, and the butler says the Fat Controller is wanted on the "fucking" telephone. It turns out to be WTLNetwork prank-calling him; the Fat Controller swears at him.

At the station, Thomas' driver tells the Fat Controller what happened. The Fat Controller complains that they took their jobs and speaks to the policeman. The policeman says the law is the law and he can't change it, so the Fat Controller tells him to shut up. Thomas worries that he will look like a tram. The policeman then yells at Toby "Oi! You!". The episode ends with the camera zooming in and out of Thomas and the Policeman singing to the Thomas theme tune.

Quotes
Ringo: The Fat Controller was having sex. He was fucking the Butler. The Butler came.

The Fat Controller: Bother. (To his wife) I'm sorry, my dear.

The Butler: You are wanted on the telephone.

The Fat Controller: Fucking telephone.

WTLNetwork: Excuse me, do you have Prince Albert in a can.

The Fat Controller: Fuck you.

Characters

 * Ringo Starr
 * Thomas
 * The Wanking Policeman
 * Annie (cameo)
 * Clarabel (cameo)
 * Thomas' driver
 * The Fat Controller
 * The Butler
 * Lady Hatt (does not speak)
 * Toby (does not speak)