Threesome For Bertie!

Synopsis
Bertie has to chase Edward across the island, but there are a bunch of scrapes, smashes and orgies along the way.

Plot
When Edward complains about Thomas not usually making him and his crew wait, Edward's driver and fireman are in Edward's cab. The fireman sings a jolly tune about Johnnies (condoms) and a text saying "For our American viewers, 'Johnny' is a slang word for a condom in the UK" appears. Then, the fireman is interrupted by the driver making a sexual advance on him. The fireman declines the advance, saying that he wants Bertie. The driver then asks him to stand on the roof of the cab and look for Bertie. The fireman slips and gets a new arsehole torn by Edward's whistle.

While chasing after Edward's train, Bertie attempts to stop at a level crossing, only to miscalculate his stopping time and crash through the barrier and onto the track. After stopping at another level crossing, Bertie is upset and remarks as to how sexy he is, the passengers tell Bertie to cheer up. Bertie then proceeds to rap about a "third time", which to everyone else makes no sense. The viewer is pointed towards a cameo appearance by Mrs. Kyndley in the form of a song. The passengers ask the driver whether or not they will die at the next station. He says that there is a good chance, and to make sure it happens, he shoots the passengers dead. Bertie and his passengers wait impatiently at the station.

75 years later, and they are still at the level crossing. Bertie asks his driver for full gay sex. His driver agrees to his proposal. Bertie starts off, reversing before ramming the gate, expecting it to smash like the last one, the gate dents Bertie instead.

On the other hand, Edward crosses a bridge, but the bridge itself collapses and Edward gets crumpled on the ground below. Rather inexplicably, however, he arrives at the station and asks his guard to tell everyone to get in quickly, who yells "NO!" at him. Edward pleads with the guard, who only shouts at him again. Edward is left betrayed and upset.

Bertie arrives and Edward begins to apologise to him for the misunderstanding, but he is cut short by Bertie telling him to shut up. The episode ends with Bertie getting a threesome. Bertie shouts "Hooray!".

Characters

 * Edward
 * Edward's fireman
 * Edward's driver
 * Ringo Starr
 * Bertie
 * Mrs. Kyndley
 * Passengers
 * Bertie's driver